Thanks for the Memories Chris Osgood

Ozzie, as he has been lovingly referred to by fans the past 20 years, has been my favorite player for as long as I can remember. As I write this, I am trying to hold back the tears that have already been flowing for a day, while I try to do him some form of justice. Nothing I ever write would be enough though. I love and respect Ozzie so much mainly because throughout his career, he has faced so many obstacles and critics around the league. One of the biggest being his height- he is only 5’10”. The height of the goalies has transformed drastically since Ozzie came into the league. But, he worked with goalie coach Jim Bedard to change his playing style. He has more heart and love for the game than any other goalie, and possibly player, I have ever seen. Whether it be his pregame interview bombing with Ken Daniels, or his off ice charity work, he is the ideal definition of what a Red Wing player is all about. Character, Courage, Determination, Ethics, Loyalty, Perseverance, and Team.

Basic Bio:

Ozzie was born November 26th, 1972 in Peace River, Alberta. He was obsessed with hockey. His favorite pro team was the Edmonton Oilers. He was drafted 54th overall by the Red Wings in the 1991 NHL draft.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly:

1993-1994: This was Ozzie’s first season with the Red Wings. During the playoffs, he was made the starting goaltender due to Bob Essensa’s performance in the regular season. In game 7 of the quarterfinals against the San Jose Sharks, Ozzie went to clear the puck and ended up giving it away. The heavily favored Wings were eliminated from the playoffs due to it.

1995-1996: On March 6th, 1996 Ozzie became one of only nine goaltenders to score a goal. He led the NHL with 39 wins and a 2.17 goals against average. He received his first Vezina trophy nomination.

1996-1997: Ozzie helped bring the Stanley Cup back to Hockeytown after a long awaited 42 years.

1997-1998: This is one of my favorite seasons for Ozzie. Besides having an epic goalie fight, he led the wings to back to back Stanley Cup championships.

2001-2002: In the summer of 2001, Ken Holland received a phone call from Buffalo Sabres General Manager Darcy Reiger. The Wings ended up acquiring Dominik Hasek. Holland had to call Ozzie, who he considers a son, and tell him. Ozzie was picked up on waivers by the New York Islanders. Ozzie had this to say…“Things happen in sports. I’m not leaving on a sour note because too many positive things have happened to me in Detroit… Who knows? Maybe one day, when I’m a free agent, I can come back.”

2002-2003: March 11th, 2003 Ozzie was traded from New York to St. Louis.

2005-2006: On August 8th, Ozzie did the unthinkable and signed a two year contract with the Wings.

He was injury plagued for a lot of the season.

2007-2008: Ozzie battled for the starting position with Dominik Hasek for the majority of the season. Hasek ultimately won the position and was set to start the playoffs. After poor performance in game 4 of the quarter finals, Hasek was pulled and Ozzie was sent in. Ozzie then led the Wings to a Stanley Cup Championship. During the offseason, Ozzie and Captain Norris took the Cup on Jay Leno’s tonight show. I will never think of the song “sexy back” in the same way ever again.

2008-2010: Ozzie was plagued with injuries once again and struggled during the regular and post seasons.

2010-2011: December 27th, Ozzie won his 400th career game against the Colorado Avalanche. While Adam Foote was the only player left on the Av’s from the 90’s rivalry, I see it so fitting that Ozzie won this milestone against the team that was basically enemy number one of the Red Wings franchise throughout his career. January 4th, Ozzie would play and win his last game against his favorite team growing up, the Edmonton Oilers. His father was in attendance.

On Tuesday June 19th, rumors started surfacing that Ozzie would be holding a conference call to announce that he would be returning for one more year. USA Today,, the Detroit Free Press and Yahoo sports all had reports to this effect. About ten hours later, there were completely new reports stating the exact opposite. At noon, Ozzie had officially announced his retirement and stated that he would be working to mentor the young goalies in the Red Wings organization.

Now the Hall of Fame debate truly gets underway. While every other site out there feels the need to compare him to other players and say why it is or isn’t that he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, I’m just going to state the obvious. He deserves to be in there among the greats. He has over 400 wins, which is tenth in all of NHL history. That alone should be enough. On top of that, add three Stanley Cups, with him being the starter for two of them. He is sixth all time in winning percentage with .539% and two of the goalies ahead of him are still active. So, there is a very good chance that he will even move up on the list. Ozzie’s amazing stats go on and on. As far as him playing among greats, didn’t most successful goalies? (Patrick Roy, cough, cough.)

You more than likely already have your own opinion on the subject and I’m sure I cannot change that. (Especially if your name is Ryan Lambert.) But, consider the statistics and it’s obvious where he belongs.

2011-2012: Ozzie will continue what he’s been doing for the past twenty years or so, just not playing. He will continue helping mentor Howie and any other goalie that needs or asks. He will continue being a leader on and off ice. He will continue his shenanigans with Draper right by his side. He will continue to make us laugh by probably interview bombing every once in a while during pregame warm-ups. He will continue to make us so happy that we are fortunate enough to be Red Wings fans.

Have a great retirement Ozzie and you will truly be missed.


Ally and the rest of the Hockeytown Family

P.S. Drapes, don’t leave. I couldn’t stand writing two of these in the same year.

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Top Ten Mullets of All-time in the NHL

I decided to do a little poll to see who everyone thought had the best mullet of all time in the history of the national hockey league (actually, since the 1970’s I guess.) I received over 600 votes, so thank you to everyone!

Now of course not everyone made the “cut”, so let’s see who’s mullets just weren’t good enough…

Honorable Mentions:

Billy Ray Cyrus and Uncle Jesse

I don’t care. If you are doing any type of poll that involves the word mullet, these men deserve their rightful place in the countdown. Plus, Billy received two write in votes and Uncle Jesse (from Full House I’m assuming), received one.

Petr Klima (10 votes)

Roberto Luongo (28 votes)

Chris Simon (30 votes)

Simon’s mullet is definitely in my personal top five, but unfortunately the voters didn’t feel the same.

Ryan Smyth (31 votes)

Wayne Gretzky (32 votes)

Sorry all mighty great one. You can’t be in the top ten of everything I guess.

And the top ten are:

10. George Parros (35 votes)

If Parros didn’t have the mustache to compliment the mullet, I doubt he would be in the top ten.

9. Guy Lafleur (36 votes)

“The Flower” helped pave the way for many things in the NHL… Including the mullet.

8. Brian Engblom (39 votes)

I cannot begin to explain Engblom’s mullet. There are so many things going on there…

7. Al Iafrate (42 votes)

Iafrate took the mullet to a new level. We now know this type of hairstyle as the skullet.

6. Marty McSorley (44 votes)

In the 90’s, McSorley’s mullet ruled the west coast. Those luscious golden locks could not be topped over there.

5. Patrick Kane (49 votes)

There are two things that are certain in the NHL playoffs. There will be a Stanley Cup champion and Patrick Kane will sport the same style of mullet that my brother had back in 1990 when he was in kindergarten.

4. Adam McQuaid (54 votes)

If anyone can really pull a mullet off in the 21st century, it’s definitely Adam McQuaid. His mullet is such a talking point around the league, that it has its own HF Board thread. (I also love that McQuaid received the same amount of votes as his number for the Bruins!)

3. Barry Melrose (55 votes)

Barry Melrose has had a mullet pretty much his whole life. Even at the age of 54, he is still sporting the hair-do that went out of style more than 15 years ago.

2. Jaromir Jagr (56 votes)

Well, this is a given. For basically his whole NHL career, Jagr has donned one of the ugliest mullets in the history of mankind. We can only hope that it makes its comeback right along side Jagr for this upcoming season.

And the number one mullet of all-time in the NHL is………………………..

Bob Probert with 64 votes!!!!!!!!!!!

Face it. He made that mullet look good. R.I.P. Probie.

(Please remember that this was voted on by fans.)

Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi Tumblrs: Tigerbloodtuzzi and DetroitRedWingsMemes

82 Days of Hockey

The season, playoffs, awards and draft are over. So until hockey starts, you may be asking yourself, what should I do to occupy my time now because NHL Network is just replaying the same thing over and over? If you are as obsessed with hockey as I am, you’re probably starting to get a little antsy and it’s only been two days since the draft. So, I have compiled a day by day “hockey activity board” if you will, for any hockey fan, of any team for the next 82 days . Just do one a day and I promise, you will survive. (All of these are free unless you decide to purchase something. You should have all of the things needed to do these things around the house and they will take anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour.)

Monday, June 27th Day 1

Visit the Hockey Hall of Fame

Now, unless you live in or around Toronto, this is probably not very realistic. So, take a virtual tour.

Tuesday, June 28th Day 2

Using hockey terms and players only, have some fun with mad libs.

1 2 3 If you want them posted, send me the finished link. (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Wednesday, June 29th Day 3

Write a piece on one of your favorite players. If you have a tumblr or blog put it up there. If not, send it to me and I will be happy to put it on here. (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Thursday, June 30th Day 4

Play some hockey games online. There are a ton of them to chose from.

Friday, July 1st Day 5

FREE AGENCY! Watch NHL Network/CBC/TSN/whatever because they will be talking about it a lot today.

Saturday, July 2nd Day 6

Play the Pierre McGuire drinking game. (If you aren’t old enough to drink, play with Kool-aid. You’ll still get a buzz.) I’m sure you have a DVR or DVD of a game from the past. If not, borrow one or go to NHL Video on YouTube, search your favorite team (or Pierre McGuire), and play that way.

Sunday July 3rd Day 7

Learn about your teams prospects and draft picks. Go to your teams official site, click on your affiliate team(s) or prospects and read up.

Monday July 4th Day 8

Happy Fourth of July! If you have no plans, then watch the movie Miracle and “relive the magic” of the 1980 U.S. Olympic team. Or, party like Buffalo, NY native Patrick Kane! (Hahaha. Kaner’s gonna Kane.)

Tuesday July 5th Day 9

One year ago today, the greatest enforcer ever to play the game of hockey passed away. To remember Bob Probert, either read some of his book Tough Guy (you can borrow it from the library) or watch some classic Probie clips.

R.I.P. Probie. Also, send a “shout out” to Darren McCarty on twitter or facebook and Tie Domi on twitter or facebook as they remember their friend today.

Wednesday July 6th Day 10

Review the Southeast Division teams and find something out about a player from each team that you didn’t know. Washington Tampa Bay Atlanta/Winnipeg Carolina Florida

Thursday July 7th Day 11

Using hockey terms and players only, have some fun with mad libs.

1 2 3 If you want them posted, send me the finished link. (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Friday July 8th Day 12

Go on a virtual tour of a hockey training center to get an idea of where the players train.

Saturday July 9th Day 13

Make your own hockey quiz with the facts that you know. Go here and then you can send them to me and I will post them or you can post them on your own pages! (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Sunday July 10th Day 14

Learn a little history about hockey.

Monday July 11th Day 15

Review the Central Division teams and find something out about a player from each team that you didn’t know. Detroit Chicago Nashville St. Louis Columbus

Tuesday July 12th Day 16

Start a facebook fan page for your favorite NHL player. If you send me the links, I will put them up here. (Email Twitter @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Wednesday July 13th Day 17

Learn about your team’s arena.

Thursday July 14th Day 18

Just read this, then this, then this (the answers are what I like), and then finally this. You now should have your laughs and hockey fill for the day.

Friday July 15th Day 19

Read Bobby Orr’s Bio.

Saturday July 16th Day 20

Do a simpler version of a hockey player’s workout. All you need is a jumprope, step or even tape! And it only takes 15 minutes. Too lazy for that? Then eat most hockey player’s favorite meal… Chicken and pasta.

Sunday July 17th Day 21

Using construction board/cardboard paper, make your own hockey cards. Make them about you or your favorite players.

Monday July 18th Day 22

Go for a walk in your neighborhood or local park. BUT, instead of saying hi to everyone you meet, tell them a random hockey fact. (I do it all the time. It actually is fun and you catch people off guard.)

Tuesday July 19th Day 23

Write your own hockey song. Warren Zevon’s Hit Somebody and Good Ol’ Hockey Game are hockey staples, but create your own. Write it about your favorite player, team, or just in general. You can even do a remix to a song already made. (And if you want me to send me the lyrics or video if you made one, I’ll put them up. Email:

Wednesday July 20th Day 24

This is a four part segment. Re-watching the HBO 24-7 series. Episode 1. Only watch one episode a day though, otherwise you won’t have anything hockey to do the day after. (These videos are in about 15 minute segments and the links will pop up to lead you to the next part after.)

Thursday July 21st Day 25

Episode 2 of HBO’s 24-7 Series

Friday July 22nd Day 26

Episode 3 of HBO’s 24-7 Series

Saturday July 23rd Day 27

Episode 4 of HBO’s 24-7 Series

Sunday July 24th Day 28

Read Bobby Hull’s Biography.

Monday July 25th Day 29

Have some fun generating new hockey team names with fantasy name generator.

Tuesday July 26th Day 30

Do something in honor of one of your favorite players or teams, such as charity work. The charity will usually give you a certificate or something that says “Your name here worked/donated whatever in honor of ‘Pavel Datsyuk.'” Then mail that to their arena and C/O it to the chosen player(s).

Wednesday July 27th Day 31

Learn about another NHL team’s arena.

Thursday July 28th Day 32

Make your own hockey related crossword puzzle.

Friday July 29th Day 33

Watch three history will be made parodies.

Saturday July 30th Day 34

Go to some garage sales. I have found hockey books, DVDs, memorabilia and even a signed Nicklas Lidstrom rookie card. I’m not saying that everyone you go to you will find hockey stuff, but it will be good for you to get out of the house and get some fresh air anyways!

Sunday July 31st Day 35

Using hockey terms and players only, have some fun with mad libs.

1 2 3 If you want them posted, send me the finished link. (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Monday August 1st Day 36

Read Mario Lemieux’s Bio.

Tuesday August 2nd Day 37

Make a top ten countdown of “You know you’re a true hockey fan when…” Submit them to me if you wish, and I will post them. (Email: (Example: You punish your kids with minors, majors, and misconducts.)

Wednesday August 3rd Day 38

Make your own game for your team/announcers/etc. (See Day 6 for guidance.) Pick a background (or chose one hockey themed) and make it accordingly. If you want, email them to me ( and I will post them.

Thursday August 4th Day 39

Have fun with Akinator, the Web Genius and see if he can guess what hockey players you are talking about. This is actually really fun.

Friday August 5th Day 40

Give your game from Day 38 a trial run through with either you tube clips or a former game that you have DVR-ed or have on DVD.

Saturday August 6th Day 41

Congratulations! You’re halfway there! You should be proud of yourself. Celebrate by making a Stanley Cup Cake. If it just so happens that you don’t need a cake to serve a thousand, try one of these. (Send me pictures and I will post them. Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Sunday August 7th Day 42

Today is Sidney Crosby’s birthday. To those of you that like Crosby and Penguins, you can watch this today. To those of us who do not, we can watch this today. (This is me being nice by the way… At least I’m acknowledging him.)

Monday August 8th Day 43

Support your team today by wearing your favorite jersey, shersey or any clothing item that represents them.

Tuesday August 9th Day 44

Call or Email Gary Bettman with your opinion on him. If you think he’s doing a good job, let him know. If not, let him know also. His last known email was and his phone number is (212) 789-2000 ext. 2101

Wednesday August 10th Day 45

Read some Brett Hull Quotes. Love him or hate you, you have to acknowledge that he says the craziest stuff. It’s usually pretty true though.

Thursday August 11th Day 46

Play some more hockey games online.

Friday August 12th Day 47

Create a photoshop of your team. A macro, meme, anything amusing. Send them to me if you would like and I will post them. If I receive enough entries, I will make a poll and everyone can vote for their favorite. (Email:

Saturday August 13th Day 48

Read Steve Yzerman’s Bio. Or if you are a red wings fan, read my version.

Sunday August 14th Day 49

Learn about the past and present of the Winnipeg Jets.

Monday August 15th Day 50

Start reading a hockey book. Any hockey book. Brett Hull’s My Story was one of my favorites along with Bob Probert’s Blood Feud as well. But, depending on where you live and what teams you like, I’m sure the selection varies. Libraries always have at least a couple hockey books.

Tuesday August 16th Day 51

Using hockey terms and players only, have some fun with mad libs.

1 2 3 If you want them posted, send me the finished link. (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Wednesday August 17th Day 52

Review the Northeast Division teams and find something out about a player from each team that you didn’t know. Boston Buffalo Toronto Montreal Ottawa

Thursday August 18th Day 53

The 2012 NHL All star game will be played in Ottawa. Read about how they were selected and what Ottawa had to say about it.

Friday August 19th Day 54

Another Multiple Day Event. Watch the first Mighty Ducks. (After 72 minutes, you will have to wait 30 minutes before you watch anymore, so seperate each movie into two days. Then, just “fast forward” to the part it stopped at. Or rent them. Or if you have them, obviously just do it that way.)

Saturday August 20th Day 55

Watch Mighty Ducks. (Part 2)

Sunday August 21st Day 56

Watch D2: The Mighty Ducks. (Part 1)

Monday August 22nd Day 57

Watch D2: The Mighty Ducks. (Part 2)

Tuesday August 23rd Day 58

Watch D3: The Mighty Ducks. (Part 1)

Wednesday August 24th Day 59

Watch D3: The Mighty Ducks. (Part 2)

Thursday August 25th Day 60

Review the Pacific Division teams and find something out about a player from each team that you didn’t know. Anaheim San Jose Phoenix Dallas Los Angeles

Friday August 26th Day 61

Tickets will be going on sale soon for the 2011-2012 season. Check out your team’s schedule (if you haven’t done it yet) and plan what games you will be going to so when they do go on sale, you will be ready.

Saturday August 27th Day 62

Visit this gallery of NHL/Hockey goalie masks.

Sunday August 28th Day 63

Review the Atlantic Division teams and find something out about a player from each team that you didn’t know. Philadelphia NY Rangers NY Islanders New Jersey Pittsburgh

Monday August 29th Day 64

Watch the Best of the NHL Green Men.

Tuesday August 30th Day 65

Find a friend who isn’t a hockey fan and try to turn them onto the game.

Wednesday August 31st Day 66

Make sure you know the complete history of “The Miracle on Ice.” While the movie is pretty accurate, there are always things that go untold.

Thursday September 1st Day 67

Review the Northwest Division teams and find something out about a player from each team that you didn’t know. Edmonton Colorado Minnesota Calgary Vancouver

Friday September 2nd Day 68

Do some mad libs with only using hockey terms/players/etc..

1 2 3 And if you want to send me the good ones, feel free. (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Saturday September 3rd Day 69

Read The Stanley Cup Marathon: A Fan’s Survival Guide to the Playoffs so when the time comes around next year, you will already be prepared.

Sunday September 4th Day 70

Make a hockey bucket list with at least ten things you want to do relating to hockey before you die. If you want to submit them to me, I will post them. (Email:

Monday September 5th Day 71

Watch The Love Guru (Part 1) and watch for cameos. See day 54 for “rules.”

Tuesday September 6th Day 72

Watch The Love Guru. (Part 2)

Wednesday September 7th Day 73

Every team has at least one under appreciated player. That player is usually a grinder/fighter/etc that doesn’t always get the recognition that they deserve. So, send your favorite so-called “fourth liner” a quick fan mail letter. (Mail to your NHL arena and C/O to the player.)

Thursday September 8th Day 74

Have some fun customizing your team’s jerseys. You don’t have to buy them but screen shot and send them to me for submissions. (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi) Examples:

Friday September 9th Day 75

Look up the history of the first overall picks in the NHL draft and see how many of you know, as well as where they are now.

Saturday September 10th Day 76

Read Wayne Gretzky’s Bio.

Sunday September 11th Day 77

Go to your local arcade or family fun center and play some air hockey.

Monday September 12th Day 78

Write a poem/haiku/etc about your favorite coach/player/team/etc. Submit them to me if you want them published. (Email:

Tuesday September 13th Day 79

Start making your signs for opening night. Even if you aren’t going to the game, support your team with them at home/at the bar/where ever.

Wednesday September 14th Day 80

Make hockey stick and puck cookies for your team or just hockey puck cookies. Send me pictures and I will post them. (Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi)

Thursday September 15th Day 81

Review and/or learn Rule 48.

Friday September 16th Day 82

Make a “Top Ten Signs You’re Obsessed With Hockey” Countdown. Submit them to me and I will publish them. (Email:

Saturday September 17th

Congratulations, you made it! Training Camp begins today (at least for the red wings it does!) In less than a week, preseason begins! So go cheer your team on as they begin to get ready for their quest for the cup!

NHL Draft 2011

  1. Edmonton Oilers- Ryan Nugent-Hopkins
  2. Colorado Avalanche- Gabriel Landeskog
  3. Florida Panthers- Jonathan Huberdeau
  4. New Jersey Devils- Adam Larsson
  5. New York Islanders- Ryan Strome
  6. Ottawa Senators- Mika Zibanejad
  7. Winnipeg Jets- Mark Scheifele
  8. Philadelphia Flyers- Sean Couturier
  9. Boston Bruins- Dougie Hamilton
  10. Minnesota Wild- Jonas Brodin
  11. Colorado Avalanche- Duncan Siemens
  12. Carolina Hurricanes- Ryan Murphy
  13. Calgary Flames- Sven Bartschi
  14. Dallas Stars- Jamie Oleksiak
  15. New York Rangers- J.T. Miller
  16. Buffalo Sabres- Joel Armia
  17. Montreal Canadiens- Nathan Beaulieu
  18. Chicago Blackhawks- Mark McNeill
  19. Edmonton Oilers- Oscar Klefbom
  20. Phoenix Coyotes- Conner Murphy
  21. Ottawa Senators- Stefan Noeson
  22. Toronto Maple Leafs- Tyler Biggs
  23. Pittsburgh Penguins- Joe Morrow
  24. Ottawa Senators- Matt Puempel
  25. Toronto Maple Leafs- Stuart Percy
  26. Chicago Blackhawks- Phillip Danault
  27. Tampa Bay Lightning- Vladislav Namestnikov
  28. Minnesota Wild- Zack Phillips
  29. Vancouver Canucks- Nicklas Jensen
  30. Anaheim Ducks- Rikard Rakell
Email: Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi Tumblr:

Detroit Red Wings 2011-2012 Schedule


  1. Weds Sept 21 @ Pittsburgh, 7 p.m.
  2. Thurs Sept 22 vs. Philadelphia  in London, Ont
  3. Fri Sept 23 vs. Philadelphia  7:30 p.m.
  4. Sun Sept 25 vs. Chicago 4 p.m.
  5. Weds Sept 28 @ Chicago 8:30 p.m.
  6. Fri Sept 30 vs. Toronto 7:30 p.m.
  7. Sat Oct 1 @Toronto 7 p.m.
  8. Sun Oct 2 vs. Pittsburgh 4 p.m.

Regular Season

  1. Fri Oct 7 vs Ottawa 7 p.m.
  2. Sat Oct 8 @ Colorado 9 p.m.
  3. Thurs Oct 13 vs Vancouver 7:30 p.m.
  4. Sat Oct 15 @ Minnesota 8 p.m.
  5. Fri Oct 21 vs Columbus 7:30 p.m.
  6. Sat Oct 22 @ Washington 7 p.m.
  7. Tues Oct 25 @ Columbus 7 p.m.
  8. Fri Oct 28 vs San Jose 7:30 p.m.
  9. Sat Oct 29 @ Minnesota 8 p.m.
  10. Tue Nov 1 vs Minnesota 7:30 p.m.
  11. Thurs Nov 3 vs Calgary 7:30 p.m.
  12. Sat Nov 5 vs Anaheim 7 p.m.
  13. Tues Nov 8 vs Colorado 7:30 p.m.
  14. Fri Nov 11 vs Edmonton 7:30 p.m.
  15. Sat Nov 12 vs Dallas 7 p.m.
  16. Tues Nov 15 @ St. Louis 8 p.m.
  17. Thurs Nov 17 @ San Jose 10:30 p.m.
  18. Sat Nov 19 @ Los Angeles 4 p.m.
  19. Sun Nov 20 @ Anaheim 8 p.m.
  20. Weds Nov 23 vs Calgary 7 p.m.
  21. Fri Nov 25 @ Boston 1 p.m.
  22. Sat Nov 26 vs Nashville 7 p.m.
  23. Weds Nov 30 vs Tampa Bay 7:30 p.m.
  24. Fri Dec 2 @ Buffalo 7:30 p.m.
  25. Sun Dec 4 @ Colorado 8 p.m.
  26. Tue Dec 6 @ St. Louis 8 p.m.
  27. Thurs Dec 8 vs Phoenix 7:30 p.m.
  28. Sat Dec 10 vs Winnipeg 7 p.m.
  29. Tues Dec 13 @ Pittsburgh 7 p.m.
  30. Thurs Dec 15 @ Nashville 8 p.m.
  31. Sat Dec 17 vs. Los Angeles 7 p.m.
  32. Mon Dec 19 @ Edmonton 9:30 p.m.
  33. Wed Dec 21 @ Vancouver 10 p.m.
  34. Thurs Dec 22 @ Calgary 9 p.m.
  35. Mon Dec 26 @ Nashville 8 p.m.
  36. Tues Dec 27 vs St. Louis 7:30 p.m.
  37. Fri Dec 30 @ Chicago 8:30 p.m.
  38. Sat Dec 31 vs St. Louis 7 p.m.
  39. Tues Jan 3 @ Dallas 8:30 p.m.
  40. Sat Jan 7 @ Toronto 7 p.m.
  41. Sun Jan 8 @ Chicago 7:30 p.m.
  42. Tues Jan 10 @ New York Islanders 7 p.m.
  43. Thurs Jan 12 vs Phoenix 7:30 p.m.
  44. Sat Jan 14 vs Chicago 12:30 p.m.
  45. Mon Jan 16 vs Buffalo 7:30 p.m.
  46. Tues Jan 17 @ Dallas 8:30 p.m.
  47. Thurs Jan 19 @ Phoenix 9 p.m.
  48. Sat Jan 21 vs Columbus 7 p.m.
  49. Mon Jan 23 vs St. Louis 7:30 p.m.
  50. Weds Jan 25 @ Montreal 7:30 p.m.
  51. Tues Jan 31 @ Calgary 9 p.m.
  52. Thurs Feb 2 @ Vancouver 10 p.m.
  53. Sat Feb 4 @ Edmonton 10 p.m.
  54. Mon Feb 6 @ Phoenix 8 p.m.
  55. Wed Feb 8 vs Edmonton 7:30 p.m.
  56. Fri Feb 10 vs Anaheim 7:30 p.m.
  57. Sun Feb 12 vs Philadelphia 4 p.m.
  58. Tues Feb 14 vs Dallas 7:30 p.m.
  59. Fri Feb 17 vs Nashville 7:30 p.m.
  60. Sun Feb 19 vs San Jose 12:30 p.m.
  61. Tues Feb 21 @ Chicago 8:30 p.m.
  62. Thurs Feb 23 vs Vancouver 7:30 p.m.
  63. Sat Feb 25 vs Colorado 7 p.m.
  64. Tues Feb 28 @ Columbus 7 p.m.
  65. Fri Mar 2 vs Minnesota 7:30 p.m.
  66. Sun Mar 4 vs Chicago 4 p.m.
  67. Tues Mar 6 @ Philadelphia 7 p.m.
  68. Fri Mar 9 vs Los Angeles 7:30 p.m.
  69. Sat Mar 10 @ Nashville 8 p.m.
  70. Tues Mar 13 @ Los Angeles 10:30 p.m.
  71. Weds Mar 14 @ Anaheim 10 p.m.
  72. Sat Mar 17 @ San Jose 10:30 p.m.
  73. Mon Mar 19 vs Washington 7:30 p.m.
  74. Wed Mar 21 @ New York Rangers 7:30 p.m.
  75. Sat Mar 24 vs Carolina 7 p.m.
  76. Mon Mar 26 vs Columbus 7:30 p.m.
  77. Weds Mar 28 @ Columbus 7:30 p.m.
  78. Fri Mar 30 vs Nashville 7:30 p.m.
  79. Sun Apr 1 vs Florida 4 p.m.
  80. Weds Apr 4 @ St. Louis 7:30 p.m.
  81. Thurs Apr 5 vs New Jersey 7:30 p.m.
  82. Sat Apr 7 vs Chicago 4 p.m.

What Actually Happened Back in Boston When Timmy and Chara Were in Vegas…

Three Days Later…

Wednesday 4 p.m. Las Vegas

Meanwhile, Back in Boston…

Two Days Later, Timmy and Z arrive home to find Brado and Seguin peacefully hanging out.

One week later, Timmy decides to go get the pictures developed from Las Vegas and takes the ones Brado and Seguin left laying around as well. (They don’t have a digital camera yet. Strictly disposable.)

Two Hours Later

Z comes and sits with Timmy and they look at all their pictures from Vegas. Then they decide to look at Brado’s and Seguin’s. They look at the first roll of the ones with Bergy and are pleasantly surprised that they behaved themselves. Then they get to the second roll.

So, they keep looking through the pictures…

After about an hour, Timmy finally gets Z to calm down. So they decide look at the last picture…

And Chara was so mad that he destroyed the entire world.


*If you couldn’t tell, these were photo shopped. They are not real. I mean, do you really think Tuukka would ever go to jail? And if you don’t know why Bruce Bordeau is in here, let me know and I’ll explain it.

Email:, Twitter: @TigerbloodTuzzi, Tumblr:

Restricted/Unrestricted Free Agents 2011 Off Season

Anaheim Ducks: UFA- (F) Teemu Selanne, Jarkko Ruutu, Todd Marchant, Brad Winchester (D) Andres Lilja (G) Ray Emery RFA- (F) Dan Sexton, Kyle Chipchura

Atlanta Thrashers/Winnipeg: UFA- (F) Radek Dvorak, Eric Boulton (D) Freddy Meyer RFA- (F) Andrew Ladd, Blake Wheeler, Ben Maxwell, Rob Schremp, Anthony Stewart (D)- Zach Bogosian, Brett Festerling

Boston Bruins: UFA- (F) Mark Recchi, Michael Ryder (D) Tomas Kaberle, Shane Hnidy RFA- (F) Brad Marchand

Buffalo Sabres: UFA- (F) Tim Connolly, Mike Grier, Rob Niedermayer, Matt Ellis, Mark Parish, Mark Mancari, Cody McCormick (D) Steve Montador (G) Patrick LaLime RFA- (F) Drew Stafford, Nathan Gerbe (D) Andres Sekera, Chris Butler, Mike Weber, Marc-Andre Gragnani (G) Jhonas Enroth

Calgary Flames: UFA- (F) Alex Tanguay, Curtis Glencross, Fredrick Modin, Brendan Morrison (D) Steve Staios, Anton Babchuk, Adam Pardy, Brent Carson (G) Henrik Karlsson RFA- (D) Brendan Mikkelson

Carolina Hurricanes: UFA- (F) Cory Stillman, Erik Cole, Chad Larose, Jussi Jokinen, Pat Dwyer (D) Joni Pitkanen, Jay Harrison RFA- (F) Brandon Sutter, Jiri Tlusty, Troy Bodie (D) Derek Joslin

Chicago Blackhawks: UFA- (F) Tomas Kopecky, Fernando Pisani, Ryan Johnson (D)- Jordan Hendry (G) Marty Turco RFA- (F) Michael Frolik, Troy Brouwer, Viktor Stalberg, Jake Dowell (D) Chris Campoli (G) Corey Crawford

Colorado Avalanche: UFA- (F) Milan Hejduk, Tomas Fleischmann, David Koci (D) Adam Foote (G) Peter Budja RFA- (F) T.J. Garliadi, David Jones, Kevin Porter, Philipee Dupuis (D) Matt Hunwick, Ryan O’Bryne, Kyle Cumisky, Ryan Wilson (G) Bryan Elliot

Columbus Blue Jackets: UFA- (F) Chris Clark, Scottie Upshall, Ethan Moreau, Andrew Murray (D) Jan Hedja, Craig Rivet, Grant Clitsome (G) Mathieu Garon RFA- (F) Jakub Voracek (D) Anton Stralman, Marc Methot, Sami LePisto

Dallas Stars: UFA- (F) Brad Richards, Jamie Langenbrunner, Brian Sutherby, Brandon Segal, Jason Williams (D) Karlis Skrastins, Brad Lukowich, Jeff Woywitka

Detroit Red Wings: UFA- (F) Mike Modano, Kris Draper, Patrick Eaves, Drew Miller (D) Nicklas Lidstrom, Ruslan Salei, Jonathon Ericsson (G) Chris Osgood

Edmonton Oilers: UFA- (F) Ryan Jones, Steve MacIntyre (D) Jim Vandermeer, Jason Strudwick RFA- (F) Andrew Cogliano, Jean Francois Jacques, Liam Reddox (D) Ladislav Smid, Taylor Chorney, Theo Peckham

Florida Panthers: UFA- (F) Sergei Samsonov, Marty Reasoner, Darcy Hordichuk, Ryan Carter (D) Alexander Sulzer, Joe Callahan (G) Tomas Vokoun RFA- (F) Steve Bernier, Nicklas Bergfors, Shawn Matthias, Michael Repik, Bryon Bitz, Mike Santorelli, Jack Skille (D) Keaton Ellerby

Los Angeles Kings: UFA- (F) Michal Handzus, Alexei Ponikarovsky (D) Peter Harrold RFA- (F) Brad Richardson, Oscar Moller, Wayne Simmonds, Trevor Lewis (D) Drew Doughty, Alec Martinez

Minnesota Wild: UFA- (F) Chuck Kobasew, Andrew Brunette, Antti Miettinen, John Madden (D) Drew Bagnell (G) Josh Harding, Jose Theodore RFA- (F) Colton Gillies, Maxim Noreau

Montreal Canadiens: UFA- (F) Jeff Halpern, Mathieu Darche (D) Andrei Markov, Roman Hamrlik, James Wisniewski, Brent Sopel, Hal Gill, Paul Mara (G) Alex Auld RFA- (F) Andrei Kostitsyn, Benoit Pouliot, Max Pacioretty, Ryan White, David Desharnais, Tom Pyatt (D) Josh Gorges, Yannick Weber

Nashville Predators: UFA- (F) Steve Sullivan, Joel Ward, Marcel Goc (D) Shane O’Brien RFA- (F) Nick Spaling, Matt Halischuk, Cal O’Reilly, Sergei Kostitsyn (D) Shea Weber

New Jersey Devils: UFA- (F) Adam Mair (D) Andy Greene, Jay Leach (G) Johan Hedberg RFA- (F) Zach Parise, Vladimir Zharkov (D) Matt Corrente, Anssi Salmela, Matthew Taormina, Mark Fraser

New York Islanders: UFA- (F) Doug Weight, Zenon Konopka, Trevor Gillies, Michael Haley (D) Radek Martinek, Dylan Reese RFA- (F) Joshua Bailey, Kyle Okposo, Jesse Joensuu, Michael Grabner, Blake Comeau (D) Ty Wishart, Bruno Gervais, Jack Hillen

New York Rangers: UFA- (F) Alexander Frolov, Vaclav Prospal, Ruslan Fedotenko (D) Bryan McCabe, Steve Eminger RFA- (F) Ryan Callahan, Brandon Dubinsky, Artem Anisimov, Brian Boyle (D) Matt Gilroy, Mike Sauer (G) Chad Johnson

Ottawa Senators: UFA- (F) Marek Svatos, Ryan Shannon, Francis Lessard (G) Pascal Leclaire, Curtis McElhinney

Philadelphia Flyers: UFA- (F) Nikolai Zherdev, Ville Leino (D) Sean O’Donnell, Nick Boynton (G) Brian Boucher RFA- (F) Daniel Carcillo, Andres Nodl, Darroll Powe

Phoenix Coyotes: UFA- (F) Radim Vrbata, Vernon Fiddler, Eric Belanger, Andrew Ebbett, Ryan Hollweg (D) Ed Jovanovski (G) Ilya Bryzgalov, Jason Labarbera RFA- (F) Kyle Turris, Mikkel Boedker, Brett MacLean, Lauri Korpikoski (D) Keith Yandle

Pittsburgh Penguins: UFA- (F) Alexei Kovalev, Pascal Dupuis, Maxime Talbot, Michael Rupp, Eric Godard, Arron Asham, Craig Adams, Chris Conner, Mike Comrie, Nick Johnson RFA- (F) Tyler Kennedy, Dustin Jeffrey

San Jose Sharks: UFA- (F) Ben Eager, Scott Nichol, Kyle Wellwood, Jamal Mayers (D) Ian White, Niclas Wallin, Kent Huskins RFA- (F) Devin Setoguchi, Benn Ferriero, Andrew Desjardins

St. Louis Blues: UFA- (F) Cam Janssen, Chris Porter (G) Ty Conklin RFA- (F) T.J. Oshie, Patrik Berglund, B.J. Crombeen, Vladimir Sobotka, Matt D’Agostini, Ryan Reeves (D) Roman Polak, Nikita Nikitin

Tampa Bay Lightning: UFA- (F) Simon Gagne, Sean Bergenheim, Adam Hall (D) Eric Brewer, Randy Jones, Marc Andre Bergeron (G) Dwayne Roloson, Mike Smith RFA- (F) Steven Stamkos, Ted Purcell (D) Mike Lundin, Matt Smaby

Toronto Maple Leafs: UFA- (F) Fredrik Sjostrom, Tim Brent, Darryl Boyce, Joey Crabb, Jay Rosehill (G) J.S. Giguere RFA- (F) Tyler Bozak, Clarke MacArthur (D) Luke Schenn, Carl Gunnarsson, Matt Lashoff (G) James Reimer

Vancouver Canucks: UFA- (F) Chris Higgins, Raffi Torres, Tanner Glass, Jeff Tambellini (D) Kevin Bieksa, Sami Salo, Christian Ehrhoff, Andrew Alberts RFA- (F) Maxim Lapierre, Jannik Hansen (D) Lee Sweatt

Washington Capitals: UFA- (F) Jason Arnott, Marco Sturm, Brooks Laich, Matt Bradley, Boyd Gordon (D) Scott Hannan, Sean Collins RFA- (D) Karl Alzner (G) Semyon Varlamov

Don Cherry, Come On Down. You’re the Next Contestant on the Jersey Shore…

I think this is a fabulous idea. He’s ill tempered, has an accent and could probably give them some fashion tips. Plus, there is no way in hell that he could ever be as annoying as Sammi and Ronnie are.

Look. He’s Totally DTF too.

Grapes has every outfit ever needed to go to an award show…

Todd Bertuzzi Vs. Matt Cooke

While I realize that me writing this may not change any opinions, I just have to put it out there. I love Todd Bertuzzi. I despise Matt Cooke. But, let’s give a fair comparison.


This is the original hit and it also shows what Bertuzzi was retaliating for. I understand that it was a sucker punch and he in no way ever should of done it.

And here is Bertuzzi’s apolgy…


(You might want to mute your computer. Some of these are the Pittsburgh feed.)

And now for the one that really pisses me off more than anything…

And of course Matt Cooke would apologize for that like Bertuzzi did, right? Nope. He sounds like such a coward during this. “Ohh their guy hit me the shift before like that and I got up.” With that statement, I think it proves that he knew what the hell he was doing. He was going for retaliation. (And the hit that Cooke received that game was not dirty.)

And Don Cherry has some excellent points. I am not a Crosby fan at all, but in this case, I give him a little credit. He’s clearly ashamed of his teammate as Grapes points out.

And just to make me smile…

You can say whatever you want about Matt Cooke, but frankly I don’t care if he donates to charity, is a good dad (which judging by the 24-7 series, he isn’t) or any other lame excuse Pens fans come up with. Those things have nothing to do with his playing career. He continues to do douchebag thing after douchebag thing. If he comes back next season and doesn’t do any of these things anymore, I will stop with all the hate that I give him. I will still hate him, but I won’t do it publicly. But, I think I’ve proved my point. Bertuzzi had a one time incident and had/has remorse. He continues to regret what he did and he still pays for it every time he goes to Colorado and most of Canada. I have seen no remorse out of Matt Cooke except a piss poor interview where he said “I need to change my ways.”

(Also, my apologizes if any of Cooke’s dirty hits were not included. There are just so many of them. And, in case any of you were wondering why I didn’t put in the Bertuzzi “armpit hit” from the 2010-2011 season, that is because when the coach of the receiving team a.k.a. Joel Quennville, says that he is “okay without a suspension on Bertuzzi”, I in no way can consider it a dirty hit.)

As always, feel free to talk crap to me via email (, twitter (@tigerbloodtuzzi) or tumblr (

Randomness About Puck Sluts, Pink Hat Fans, and Hockey

I am a female. I have loved hockey since I was a kid. I think female fans are great for the sport of hockey. That being said, there two types of female fans that I cannot stand. Puck Bunnies and “Pink Hat Fans.” If you don’t know what those are, let me put it in simple terms. A puck bunny is a so-called fan who just wants to bang hockey players because they are rich/hot/famous/insert adjective here. (Some of them know hockey, but most are just there to look at the guys.)  A pink hat fan usually wants to do that same thing but they are known more for “jumping on the bandwagon” after a championship. (Not all pink hat fans are puck sluts, but I find that a lot are. Men can also be pink hat fans.) Just to clarify before everyone gets pissy, I do not have a problem with pink hat fans that are eager to learn the game and become long time fans. But before you run your mouth with all the knowledge that you don’t know, learn about the sport. (You’ll understand what I’m talking about shortly.)

I am writing this for a couple reasons. I want to show some of the female fans that they are not alone with their opinions of these “fans.” Simply put, they are the ones who give female sports fans a bad reputation and cause stereotypes.  To the guys that read this, I hope you might think twice now before judging a female fan and belittling her. (I know not all of you do this, but I come across more men every day who think that a woman does not know as much about hockey as them.)  The main reason I am writing this though, is that I came across this audio:

Toucher and Rich Have Fun With a Pink Hat Fan

If you don’t want to listen to that, let me give you the basics. (I highly recommend their version even though it is ten minutes because it is hilarious and some of the stuff this girl says, you would not believe. Plus they have pretty epic sound effects.)  After the Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup, they held their parade/rally in downtown Boston. Toucher and Rich are co-hosts of The Sports Hub Radio Show in Boston. (In my eyes, they are pretty awesome.) Anyways, they send their street reporter (a.k.a. bitch boy) Adolfo to the parade and he goes out and finds a female “fan” to interview. They basically make a fool of this girl, who by the way gave consent for it to be on the air, because she has no hockey knowledge whatsoever but claims that she has been a fan “for a long time.” Apparently her favorite player is Brad Marchand and so Adolfo wanted to ask her some questions about him. So since she’s been a fan for so long, she should have no problem answering a few basic questions, right? NOPE. They ask her what position he plays, to name ANY former Bruins player, name ANY position besides goalie, what icing is, etc. She doesn’t get any right. The best part was that she was asked to name the Bruins head coach. She said that she wasn’t sure but she knew that he was really good looking…

Now, I’m not trying to judge her taste in men (she sounds like she’s 18 by the way), but the only way she could of been more wrong was if we were talking about Bruce Bordeau. (I’m not knocking on these coaches. I love them but really?) She then guessed that his name was Ralph. The only point that I give this girl is that she did properly pronounce Marshmont’s name.

So before I go any further, let me say this. I find many hockey players very attractive.  I don’t have a problem with female fans who find an athlete attractive and express that opinion. Men do it all the time with female athletes and we all do it to celebrities, so I really don’t care. But, I actually love the game. I have more hockey facts floating around in my brain then anything else. When you give the typical Puck Bunny or Pink-Hat fan image off, it affects all of the women and the perception of us. If this was anything else, it wouldn’t bother me what a man thought of me. But, it turns into a lot of them thinking that “She’s just here to bang the guys. She can’t have any hockey knowledge.” And that just pisses me off when I can school 95% of the guys around me as far as hockey knowledge goes. I don’t feel that it should get to the point where I actually have to sit down for 2 hours and try to prove to a guy that I actually know what the hell I’m talking about before he will even consider my opinions on the game. But, because of these bunnies and pink hat fans, we do have to do that frequently.

Also, there have been many instances where these bunnies have affected the performance of athletes and their reputations. The most recent being Patrick Kane. Now, I know Kaner’s reputation isn’t all that fabulous to begin with, but he should be allowed to have a private life. Instead what he got was a dumb puck slut who goes home with him, takes a couple pictures of him passed out, as well as plane ticket stubs, to prove it’s him that she banged. Then she proceeds to put them on twitter and cause what I like to call KanerGate2011. If I ever met that girl, I would seriously punch her in her face. Ohhh and I saw her picture. She’s not attractive.

Normally, I wouldn’t post a personal picture of her, but she was pretty quick to delete her twitter when she saw how it unfolded so, her ugly face is staying up here. Think before you do stupid stuff. (Ohh and I don’t give Kaner any crap for going home with a ten and waking up with a 2. We’ve all done it.  It happens and I’m sure he was hammered.)

My last point is probably the one that pisses me off the most. So many of these bunnies forget that a lot of these athletes have families who they actually care about.  While I realize that a man is going to cheat if he wants to, I still put more blame on these women. It’s probably because they disgust me more than the men because they actually go out “hunting” for them. Also, they like to “brag” about their experiences with these athletes on public sites. To me it sounds like a lot of them have some “my daddy didn’t love me enough” issues that they need to work out, instead of trying to break up a family.

You may be asking yourself, “am I a puck bunny or pink hat fan?” The answer is more than likely yes if you are seriously contemplating that question. But, here are some ways to decipher  if you are on the edge about this. If you answer yes, to any of these questions, get the hell away from my sport.

  • You were the girl in the Toucher and Rich interview.
  • You own a shirt that is suggestive that you are in fact a puck bunny.
  • You have slept with more than one professional hockey player and you are not married or in a serious relationship with them. (Elisha Cuthbert, you are safe.)
  • You absolutely could not go a game without commentating on how attractive a player is and “what you would do to them.”
  • You submitted that post about Gregory Campbell to a certain tumblr that will go unmentioned.
  • You bring a sign to a game that says “Marry Me Ovi” or anything along those lines.
  • You don’t know what people mean when they talk about “Pierre’s orgasms.”
Also, if you are pictured in any of these, you’re a puck bunny:
(This is just ridiculous and her friend is guilty by association.)

(I love the Bruins, but these fans make us look bad. To me though, it’s not a surprise to see who’s sherseys they are wearing. This doesn’t mean that if Looch or Seguin is one of your favorite players, that you are a puck bunny, but I highly doubt a woman wearing a Recchi or Chara shersey would have this wrote on their back and then lifted it up for everyone to see.)

(Do I really need to explain this?)

(I highly doubt they were showing that sign to Pierre.)

And just once more for kicks…

And you expect people to take female fans seriously ladies. Of course not. Instead they mock us because of people like you…

Now, I would just like to throw a couple random hockey facts/pointers out there for the women have read this and thought “Hey, that sounds an awfully lot like me  and I don’t want to be that fan anymore.” (Yeah right.) These are just some of the facts that are floating around in my head that will usually prove to a man that you are not one of the fore-mentioned fans, if you feel inclined to do so.


1.  The first European captain to win a cup was not Nicklas Lidstrom. He was the first captain to raise it, but Charlie Gardiner was actually the first one to win it. Versus and NBC get this wrong constantly so it should shut someone up pretty fast. He was also the only NHL captain to win the the cup as a goalie.

2. Wayne Gretzky has won the NHL scoring title ten times.

3.Dave “Tiger” Williams holds the record for the most penalty minutes in a career. He has almost 4,000.

4. A Gordie Howe hat trick is a goal, an assist and a fight.  That’s a must know.

5. Willie O’Ree was the first African American to play in the NHL. His first game in the NHL was as a Boston Bruin.

6.The first team to win the Stanley Cup was the Montreal AAA’s.

7. Scotty Bowman has won more games than any other coach in NHL history.

8. Ten players did not have to wait the three year minimum to be inducted into the hall of fame.

9.Brian Leetch, Nicklas Lidstrom, Henrik Zetterberg, Evgeni Malkin and Tim Thomas are the only non Canadian players to ever win the Conn Smythe trophy.

10. The largest arena in the NHL is the Bell Centre in Montreal.


1. Always know how to properly spell and pronounce hockey players names, especially on the teams that you support. (More than half the NHL announcers/analysts from around the league should be reading this as well and taking note.) Examples:

  • Lucic. It’s not Loochick. It’s Loo-cheech. If you can’t remember that, just call him Looch.
  • Lidstrom. There is no “n” in his name. He has been in the league for 19 years and coming back for a 20th, yet people still say/write Lindstrom. (You don’t have to write it out with the dots above the o.)
  • Chara. Damnit Pierre… It’s not Chair-a. It’s Char-a. (When all else fails ladies, go against anything Pierre McGuire says.)
  • Russians. Ovechkin, Fedorov, Konstantinov, Datsyuk, Semin, Kovalchuk, Fetisov, Nabokov to name a few. No one expects you to be able to pronounce them the Russian way, but as least know how to say them in the American/Canadian way.
  • It’s Shawn Thornton. Not Shawn Thorton or Thronton. (Same goes for Joe.)
  • Buffalo Sabres, not Sabers
  • There is a difference between Ryan Kesler and Phil Kessel. Trust me. They are not related and they don’t even play on the same team.
  • It’s the Staal brothers. (Eric, Marc, Jordan and Jared.) Not to be confused with Gunner Stahl.
  • Darius Kasparaitis
  • Gretzky. Not Gretsky. (Very big no no.)
  • Johan Franzen and Cody Franson. Big difference.
  • Now, I’m not saying that you have to know that the way to tell the difference between the Sedin twins is that little mole on Daniel’s left butt cheek, but at least know these basics and the members of your team(s).

2. Know every team in the NHL by logo and name. Also, it helps to know at least three players from every team. It’s actually pretty easy if you watch a game every once in a while. (You don’t necessarily need to know the divisions, but at least know which teams are in which conference. The players listed are the ones that you will probably benefit from knowing the most.)

Western Conference (Formerly known as the Clarence Campbell Conference):


  • Detroit Red Wings- Nicklas Lidstrom, Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg
  • Chicago Blackhawks- Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Patrick Sharp
  • Columbus Blue Jackets- Rick Nash, Antoine Vermette, Grant Clitsome
  • St. Louis Blues- Jaroslav Halak, Barret Jackman, Alexander Steen
  • Nashville Predators- Shea Weber, Pekka Rinne, Jordin Tootoo
  • (One of these teams will more than likely be moving to the Eastern Conference in the 2012 season.)

  • Dallas Stars- Brenden Morrow, Stephane Robidas, Jamie Langenbrunner
  • Anaheim Ducks (They are not the Mighty Ducks anymore.)- Jonas Hiller, Teemu Selanne, Corey Perry
  • San Jose Sharks- Joe Thornton, Logan Couture, Dany Heatley (Know that name in general.)
  • Phoenix Coyotes- Shane Doan, Keith Yandle, Ed Jovanovski
  • Los Angeles Kings- Jonathan Quick, Anze Kopitar, Dustin Penner
  • Vancouver Canucks- Sedin Twins (Daniel and Henrik), Ryan Kesler, Roberto Luongo
  • Calgary Flames- Jarome Iginla, Miikka Kiprusoff, Jay Bouwmeester
  • Colorado Avalanche- Matt Duchene, Milan Hejduk, Kyle Quincey
  • Minnesota Wild- Mikko Koivu, John Madden, Martin Havlat
  • Edmonton Oilers- Taylor Hall, Jordan Eberle, Nikolai Khabibulin
Eastern Conference (Formerly known as the Prince of Wales Conference):


  • Tampa Bay Lightning- Steven Stamkos, Marty St. Louis, Vincent Lecavalier
  • Washington Capitals- Alexander Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Mike Green
  • Florida Panthers- Tomas Vokoun, Sergei Samsonov, Marty Reasoner
  • Carolina Hurricanes- Eric Staal, Jeff Skinner, Cam Ward
  • Atlanta Thrashers (This will change by the 2012 season due to relocation to Winnipeg.)- Dustin Byfuglien (Call him Buff), Radek Dvorak, Andrew Ladd
  • Boston Bruins- Tim Thomas, Zdeno Chara, Patrice Bergeron
  • Buffalo Sabres- Ryan Miller, Cody McCormick, Rob Niedermayer
  • Montreal Canadiens- Carey Price, Brian Gionta, Hal Gill
  • Toronto Maple Leafs- Dion Phaneuf, Phil Kessel, Joffrey Lupul
  • Ottawa Senators- Jason Spezza, Daniel Alfredsson, Sergei Gonchar

  • New York Islanders- Michael Grabner, Bruno Gervais, Trevor Gillies
  • New York Rangers- Henrik Lundqvist, Marc Staal, Marian Gaborik
  • Philadelphia Flyers- Danny Briere, Chris Pronger, Claude Giroux
  • Pittsburgh Penguins- Evgeni Malkin, Sidney Crosby, Matt Cooke
  • New Jersey Devils- Zach Parise, Ilya Kovalchuk, Martin Brodeur

3. Know the original six teams and at least three former players.

  • Detroit Red Wings: Gordie Howe, Ted Lindsay, Terry Sawchuk
  • Boston Bruins: Bobby Orr, Eddie Shore, Terry O’Reilly
  • Toronto Maple Leafs: Turk Broda, Johnny Bower, Wendel Clark
  • New York Rangers: Brian Leetch, Rod Gilbert, Mike Richter
  • Chicago Blackhawks: Bobby Hull, Stan Mikita, Tony Esposito
  • Montreal Canadiens a.k.a the Habs: Jean Beliveau, Maurice “Rocket” Richard, Howie Morenz

4. Have an opinion on these subjects:

  • Sidney Crosby
  • Sidney Crosby vs. Alex Ovechkin
  • Matt Cooke
  • Bobby Orr vs. Nicklas Lidstrom

5. Never say anything bad about a player who has passed on, especially if it was recent or at a young age. Some notable players include Bob Probert, Derek Boogaard, Luc Bourdon, Dan Synder, etc. This is common knowledge but you’d really be surprised by the ignorant people in the world.

6. Know what franchises have been relocated. I don’t mean from back in the early 1900’s, but the ones as of more recent.

  • Winnipeg Jets to Phoenix Coyotes
  • Atlanta Flames to Calgary Flames
  • Minnesota North Stars to Dallas Stars
  • Colorado Rockies to New Jersey Devils
  • Quebec Nordiques to Colorado Avalanche
  • Hartford Whalers to Carolina Hurricanes
  • Atlanta Thrashers to Winnipeg (No-Namers as of right now)
7. Know the nicknames of players on your team. You may have no idea who the hell they are talking about unless you do. If I said “Milkcrate” or even “Rex” to the girl that was interviewed, I highly doubt that she would have any idea what the hell I was talking about. 

8. Know Warren Zevon’s Hockey Song. The person yelling “hit somebody” is David Letterman. Knowing Good Ol’ Hockey Game is a bonus as well. (There are a couple different versions but this is the basic one.)

9. Keep up with Don Cherry’s attire. Always a talking point that most people can agree on. If you don’t know what I am referring to, I made a little Grapes collection.

10. When all else fails, talk about why you hate Gary Bettman. But, have reasons why. If you just say, “I hate Gary Bettman” and then when asked why you answer “I don’t know”, you’re going to sound like an idiot. Here’s a couple pointers.

  • His apparent hate for Canadian hockey clubs, as well as the original six.
  • He never gives a straight answer to a question.
  • He doesn’t know anything about hockey.
  • He is a lawyer and the only sports background was being a vice president of the NBA. Hockey and basketball are two very different sports and obviously he believes that since basketball isn’t very Canadian, hockey shouldn’t be either.
  • He continues to favor Sidney Crosby and the Penguins organization. (Sorry to piss of the Penguins fans on this, but it’s true.) I know that marketing “our stars” is very important but for every three Crosby commercials/promos, I see one Ovechkin. Even after Crosby’s concussion, he was still featured more than anyone. Bettman doesn’t understand that some fans wanting to learn the game may actually want to see players featured who go out there and lay their bodies on the line. (Matt Hendricks, Gregory Campbell, Jared Boll, etc. a.k.a. Blue Collar Players)
  • The new tv deal with NBC. You may or may not agree with this, but know your position on it.
  • The NHL lockouts. During his time, there have been two. One in 1994-95 and another in 2004-05. Both are very controversial and if you research the 2004-05 one, you will see why many people believe that Bettman favors the Penguins even more.
  • He apparently hates the fans of certain cities. While Detroit is no longer allowed to throw octopi onto the ice, which is a tradition that dates back to the 1950’s, Lightning fans are allowed to throw paddles on the ice and hit players in the head. I have a huge respect for the Lightning organization, but an octopi has never hit a player in 60 years. If you are going to fine/jail people that throw stuff on the ice, fine. But do it around the league.
  • Do your own research. You will find things you don’t like about him. Trust me on that.

If you want to bitch or compliment me, I welcome it. You can email me at, tweet me @tigerbloodtuzzi, or do the tumblr thing at